Funnily enough, despite the title, this post has nothing to do with the work load, or being away from home, or even cooking and doing the washing for myself. It's being away from my boyfriend.
A bit of a back story - we have been together a year and a half (nearly, one week away), and we've always known we were going to university since we met each other, so of course it was inevitable that we would leave each other. But knowing that doesn't take the sting or the ache away from being away from him.
Last year was a dodgy year for me, he was my comfort blanket, he was everything to me, I had barely any friends, and I was pretty much alone, and I developed anxiety and depression.
So being away from him means dealing with my illnesses, new people, new problems, stress all on my own.
And this weekend, I saw him for the first time in 3 weeks, which is the longest time we have ever been apart. But now he is gone, the sting and the ache is back. I had only just shaken it off from the last time we had to say goodbye. It's awful. Crying in the middle of town as he walks to the train station is awful. Hearing him say "You best leave before I start crying" is awful. It's just hard.
I mean, it's not impossible to stay together through Uni, of course not, but the ache and the pain of being apart from him is awful. I feel like I've lost my right arm or something - him not being here. I know it will make us stronger - give us more trust, and take the jealousy away, but nonetheless it is so bloody hard.
And yes, I have cried all day, but I am allowed because the love of my life is over 100miles away from me and I can't have cuddles tonight.
That is the hardest thing about University so far.
No comments:
Post a Comment